How to love the un/vaccinated

I’m tired of thinking about vaccines.

Maybe you are, too.

A friend re-shared a dense vaccine study this morning on instagram. I didn’t understand most of the words in the study. The caption read: “see? The government is hiding something. Why are people not allowed to speak out???”

And then a status update from another friend: “Looking to clean out my friend list. Anyone not vaccinated yet?”

I’m reminded of a moment, a few months before I started my coaching business. I was interviewing for a new job. In my heart, I didn’t want the job. But I wanted a steady paycheck and more flexible hours, so I applied.

I was overqualified. I had trained five people to do the job I was applying for. I’d even written a manual for how to train people to do this job.

I’ll never forget sitting on a patio with the CEO as she told me, “Listen, I’m torn. I love you. My CPO loves you. My remote staff doesn’t want to work with you.”

I remember how much that hurt.

I couldn’t have known it in the time, but not getting that job was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I decided to stop applying for jobs a few months later. I was full time in my coaching practice six months after that.

It was a really painful blessing.

I think about that moment a lot.

Sometimes not getting what I want is a blessing.

Sometimes I’ve been wrong when I was sure I was right.

And so as we navigate this chapter of history where we all believe we’re right - I want to remind us that we don’t know.

We haven’t been to the future yet.

We can’t know that pandemics don’t benefit the world and all living things. We can’t know if dying is good or bad. We can’t know what would’ve been prevented and what wouldn’t have.

But what I know for sure, is this: when we believe we’re right, we go to war.

We blame them, resent them, judge them, and belittle them. We live in fear that They are ruining society. They are killing people. They are the real enemy. We convince and manipulate.

But we have a choice.

We can feed the part of us that’s righteous and angry.

Or we can live in the uncertainty and bear witness to it all.

We can witness the heartbreak and trauma of hospital staff and we can witness the fear of the people who think the vaccines could hurt them. We can hold the heartbreak of the people whose beloveds died from covid - and we can hold the heartbreak of the people who lost their jobs and businesses from shutdowns and mandates.

We can hold it all.

We can let it break us wide open.

We can choose to live in the not knowing.

In choosing that, we get to love each other.

Because, my friend, you may be right about the vaccine. I may be right about the vaccine.

But what is it costing us?